Took the car out today. Decided to go late.
True to form, my patron supreme beings anticipated my misgivings and disappointed all hopes. In fact, on the way to class, nothing untoward happened (well, aside from the fact that the car stalled on the middle of the flyover when I tried to switch to gas; and I was stranded on high for a minute with passing motorists hurling abuses in my window) and I reached in the proverbial nick of time. (or is it adagial? idiomatic??)
Anyhoo, on the way back, I had three near accidents. What can I say? I attract adventure the way shit draws flies (and yes, the analogy was meant to be distasteful).
The first was when I nearly ran into the path of a passing car while swerving to avoid an autorickshaw which was navigating around a cyclist slap-bang in the middle of Mysore Road (damn all cyclists)
The second when I almost killed myself on the steel bars protruding out the back of a truck because I kept getting some random call from a guy in Bijapur (wtf, but I think it might have been my fault because the keypad was unlocked and who knows what your phone does when left unattended.)
The third was when I actually hit a guy on a scooter right in front of me. My first actual collision! I should be so pleased. Why am I not?
It was an incredibly surreal experience. It had just begun to rain, and I couldn't wait to get home. We stopped at a red light near corporation circle, and when the light turned green, I forged ahead.
Here comes the part that is the most embarassing to relate. I heard a dull scraping sound, saw the guy in front of me (and to my left, ok? i didn't rear-end him) almost falling off his two-wheeler, and I didn't make the connection! In fact, I kept pressing the accelerator, wondering why the car wasn't moving. God. What a fool.
Here's the ironic part: (a story in my life sans irony? never gonna happen)
This was only a near accident because:
- There was no damage done to his vehicle. (which reminds me, i have to go down and check on that poor ol' girl of mine)
- As soon as I finally realized what had happened, I rolled down the window and apologized abjectly. I think the gentleman had not met this means of dealing with accidents, because he didn't stop the traffic and chew me out in front of God and His mother.
HOWEVER.
When I got home, I discovered that the five coolest (and most chauvinistic) guys in the class had witnessed the entire incident on their way home. Super, super, super.
Whenever I hear the last of it, I will be sure to inform the world in sky-writing.
Meanwhile, why don't we see sky-writing in India? Or Bangalore, at least? Must be because of the skyline.. which reminds me! I saw that incredibly stupid Empire-State lookalike (the UB city site, yes) from the Market flyover. May I say, Ew.
Bangalore's metamorphosis into a global hick wannabe takes a quantum leap forward!
On a side note, I signed up for MySpace for the music scene. BIG mistake. I joined up last night around eleven, and I have already received no fewer than seven friend requests from guys, some of whom have said, and I quote:
WTF!!! and Holy crapalooza. And I thought orkut was bad (Hi, I'm Mayur I live with my mom, dad, grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters, cousins and don't forget the pet parrot, but I paraphrase)
No more pictures online, I swear. And anyone who dares send me a friggin frandship request can, pardon my french, shove it.
No. I don't wanna be friend. I don't wants to do friendship with you. Go away.
I am gorgeous, though.
True to form, my patron supreme beings anticipated my misgivings and disappointed all hopes. In fact, on the way to class, nothing untoward happened (well, aside from the fact that the car stalled on the middle of the flyover when I tried to switch to gas; and I was stranded on high for a minute with passing motorists hurling abuses in my window) and I reached in the proverbial nick of time. (or is it adagial? idiomatic??)
Anyhoo, on the way back, I had three near accidents. What can I say? I attract adventure the way shit draws flies (and yes, the analogy was meant to be distasteful).
The first was when I nearly ran into the path of a passing car while swerving to avoid an autorickshaw which was navigating around a cyclist slap-bang in the middle of Mysore Road (damn all cyclists)
The second when I almost killed myself on the steel bars protruding out the back of a truck because I kept getting some random call from a guy in Bijapur (wtf, but I think it might have been my fault because the keypad was unlocked and who knows what your phone does when left unattended.)
The third was when I actually hit a guy on a scooter right in front of me. My first actual collision! I should be so pleased. Why am I not?
It was an incredibly surreal experience. It had just begun to rain, and I couldn't wait to get home. We stopped at a red light near corporation circle, and when the light turned green, I forged ahead.
Here comes the part that is the most embarassing to relate. I heard a dull scraping sound, saw the guy in front of me (and to my left, ok? i didn't rear-end him) almost falling off his two-wheeler, and I didn't make the connection! In fact, I kept pressing the accelerator, wondering why the car wasn't moving. God. What a fool.
Here's the ironic part: (a story in my life sans irony? never gonna happen)
This was only a near accident because:
- There was no damage done to his vehicle. (which reminds me, i have to go down and check on that poor ol' girl of mine)
- As soon as I finally realized what had happened, I rolled down the window and apologized abjectly. I think the gentleman had not met this means of dealing with accidents, because he didn't stop the traffic and chew me out in front of God and His mother.
HOWEVER.
When I got home, I discovered that the five coolest (and most chauvinistic) guys in the class had witnessed the entire incident on their way home. Super, super, super.
Whenever I hear the last of it, I will be sure to inform the world in sky-writing.
Meanwhile, why don't we see sky-writing in India? Or Bangalore, at least? Must be because of the skyline.. which reminds me! I saw that incredibly stupid Empire-State lookalike (the UB city site, yes) from the Market flyover. May I say, Ew.
Bangalore's metamorphosis into a global hick wannabe takes a quantum leap forward!
On a side note, I signed up for MySpace for the music scene. BIG mistake. I joined up last night around eleven, and I have already received no fewer than seven friend requests from guys, some of whom have said, and I quote:
no subject
Hello...I am looking for some real good friends.. i think you can be one....if you are interested let me know. just reply whether it is yes or no. i don't mind even if you write no to me..but i expect a big yes. i am waiting for your reply...
hello
hi there
how r u doing?? i saw ur profile, its nice with ur nice pic:-)
Regards,
R
hi
hi there...u alright? i must say u look gorgeous...what do u do?
hi............................
hi dear
hows u ?
i am vinay from mumbai
n wants to do friendship with u
if u dont mind
vinay
Hello...I am looking for some real good friends.. i think you can be one....if you are interested let me know. just reply whether it is yes or no. i don't mind even if you write no to me..but i expect a big yes. i am waiting for your reply...
hello
hi there
how r u doing?? i saw ur profile, its nice with ur nice pic:-)
Regards,
R
hi
hi there...u alright? i must say u look gorgeous...what do u do?
hi............................
hi dear
hows u ?
i am vinay from mumbai
n wants to do friendship with u
if u dont mind
vinay
no subject
hi... how r u??? wanna be friend?? tell me something abt ur self??? myself danish.. doing engineering from manipal.. wat abt u???
hi... how r u??? wanna be friend?? tell me something abt ur self??? myself danish.. doing engineering from manipal.. wat abt u???
WTF!!! and Holy crapalooza. And I thought orkut was bad (Hi, I'm Mayur I live with my mom, dad, grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters, cousins and don't forget the pet parrot, but I paraphrase)
No more pictures online, I swear. And anyone who dares send me a friggin frandship request can, pardon my french, shove it.
No. I don't wanna be friend. I don't wants to do friendship with you. Go away.
I am gorgeous, though.
1 comment:
Good Lord. This was before everything.
I *am* a different person. Who would have guessed?
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