Sunday, September 20, 2009

bits and pieces

Most people tend to have a stock supply of stories, the tales they tell when they invite you over to their house for dinner; the ones every person in your family knows because each of them have been told the story at least once, and some more.
People have begun to bore me. People I used to know; whose company gave me pleasure, or, at the very least, entertainment. I wonder exactly how snobbish I will grow to be, with this new-discovered disgust of repetitions. I will move out of the house because I cannot stand to be around my mothers complaints of the world at large (because I can quote them in my sleep) and I will stop talking to most of the engineers I know (because if you have heard one of them talk you have heard them all) and I will

I have always had a problem letting things (oh, and people) go.

I have been searching for people.
The old ones who would stop by and pretend to be interested in my witty recollections of mundane events. I beg your pardon, they probably did enjoy them - I know I did.

The T's life has been unusually full of adventure lately. She wishes she could stop and tell everyone, but she's been having trouble with her words of late.

However, in other news, she's feeling much better about other miseries of her tumultuous life. Part of this is because she is certain sombody else will come along who will understand who carroll and kent are, and

Saturday, September 12, 2009

what's on my mind

A while ago I felt very loved.
Today I feel. less. I feel less loved. I feel misunderstood (then again i've always felt misunderstood) and maligned. (yes a good word i approve)

I'm wondering if it is up to me to apologize.
Do people do this often? Wonder if it's their job to apologize? Do they wonder at how simple things can go very wrong and blow themselves out of proportion and lead to yelling and tears and slammed-down-phones-in-the-middle-of-conversations? Do they worry about how to tell the other person they're sorry even though they don't think they're wrong? Do they worry about whether this is the end (the end my friend) and whether what does not kill you only makes you stronger?
I am not wrong. But I am sorry.
But I am not wrong.

How does this go, exactly?