last moments

My stingy heart rebels.
The only fest from which I walked away with a cartload of prizes was the only one which had no prize money. Irony.

In the last twenty days I have been to three fests. Won and lost and glowered. Cried and laughed and wondered. Inhaled. Exhaled. Dreamed.
Too many little things happened.
I only wish I were actually young enough not to look at it all from the outside.

What is it about winning that makes every problem seem so trivial?

vanity

I collect compliments - I hoard them, like little translucent pearls; I put them away in great glass jars to be looked at and remembered when there is nothing else to be happy about.
I consider odd things compliments - an aunt telling me i have a pretty laugh, a girl friend telling me i have naïve eyes, a boy telling me I have a pretty smile. I like best the compliments that come unasked and unexpected, the ones that surprise me into tears, the ones that come at the end of a long day and turn my mood around. I like best the compliments that are given without thought, without pretense, without design. I like best the compliments not meant as compliments, "I'd forgotten how much fun it was talking to you", compliments sent as little drunken messages, "So glad I met you", compliments sent as angry tirades, "What have you got to be unhappy about?"
I like best compliments that mean somebody knows, somebody sees, somebody likes me, even just a little.

I am a sucker for compliments. Can you tell?

nostalgia

And also vanity, but hey. I like my adventure-posts. They're better written than my grand literary pieces, definitely.
There's a new vanity post itching at the back of my head, but in the mean time I'm going to be re-reading the old ones. I wish you would, too. Yes, random visitors, I mean you.

hampi
coorg
people
blank noise 1 2 3
social calls
comic interludes
bus tales
more tales
night at café
night at café again
dumb people
the late ms. me
all fools

So hard to pick them out. :)
Stop by and comment while I do other fest things.
:D